For months now, I’ve had no idea about life outside these walls of the cell they put me in. The days are long here, and the routine is so unbearable. I don’t feel as strong as I did before my captivity. Nothing is the same now.
I came to this land as a foreigner and wanted nothing more than to continue my journey and leave this country, but the government did not allow me to leave. I regret having challenged these people. I wish I had negotiated my way through with them. As the days went by, I realized that nothing was worth the freedom I lost.
What interesting interactions I had here. A few moments with the person who brings my meals three times a day. He was nice and funny, though I barely understood his language, we were still able to communicate.
He told me once that I should be asking for my share of cigarettes. “I do not smoke,” I quickly replied.
He said quietly, “But you can sell it! I can find inmates who are willing to pay a good amount for a pack of cigarettes!”
He paused for a moment then said, “You must know that some of the inmates are getting your share and selling it. They are making money. They eat better and buy clothes with it.” I knew he was right, but for me, in this situation, the last thing I could think about is the cigarettes.
One of the inmates was a doctor, and the prison hospital used him to check on his fellow inmates. In the morning the doctor came to ask me a few questions about my health. “I am alright,” I answered. I looked at his clothes I noticed holes in his pants. “I wish I had the money to buy you a new pair of trousers!” He smiled. “Doctor, we should get our share of cigarettes that the prison allocates to us and sell it!” I said, jokingly. “And use the money on a pair of pants for you.”
The doctor replied, “Oh dear, I was worried you had decided to start smoking!”
I smiled, “No way! The guy who brings the meal suggested that since the other inmates are receiving our shares and reselling them. We need the money, doctor. Our time is not short anymore. We could stay for months and no one would even ask about us!”
“Look,” he said, “relax and be hopeful.”
I had lost sense of the world around me. Sometimes I heard what sounds like a women’s footsteps behind the wall. Their voices too; that’s how I knew it is visitation time. For a foreigner like me though, I knew no one would care to visit.
I was allowed to walk under the sun in front of my cell daily. Sometimes I would go to the gym if they let me workout, on the condition that I do not interact with others. I often spent my time Reading, thinking a lot about the future. My time felt so wasted.
In the prison, there were a lot of conniving people with nothing to lose. In one instance, a young man called my name out of the blue to measure my response and find out whether or not I was using my real name.
During interactions with the inmates, I was careful to make friends and avoid making enemies. Not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination.
One friend of mine, the doctor, was lucky enough that the prison official had offered him release, a job, and a place to live in the nearby city. I was so happy for him. Caring, kindness, and the wish to help others had its reward.
The person who brings meals is in for a drug trafficking charge. I do not know his story, and I did not ask. He always repeated his advice, “Leave whenever you can. Do not stay here in this place it is easy for them to forget about you. It is not fair,” he said.
One day, as he brought my lunch, he looked at me with a smile, “I heard some good news.”
I replied, “Tell me, but I doubt that there is a piece of good news left in this place.”
He responded, ”I heard that your case made it to the international broadcasts. I am talking about BBC, Monaco, and others. I saw a group of visiting people asking for your release.” He paused for a moment, “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” I said.” He just smiled.
“Anyway, you might hear from them sooner than you expected.”
One day, a soldier came to me and asked me to accompany him to see his superior. I followed him across the gym and we ended up in front of the chief's office. After a light knock, we heard, “Come in.” The officer opened the door and he said, “Enter.”
I received the great news that I would be released on the condition that I will not participate in any demonstrations and I should leave the country as soon as possible on my own and with no assistance from the government. I couldn’t believe my luck. I eagerly signed the paper and quickly I packed up my belongings.
Just a few hours later I found myself on the street in the open air! I was glad that I had finally left that place, but I was alone, scared, and confused.
On a good note, I had enough money in my pocket. So as I was walking to grab a bite to eat from a nearby bakery, I heard a voice from the other side of the street calling me, someone I recognized from the prison. Most people hated the guy, but somehow I managed to have an ok relation with him. I was surprised to see him, but he offered to help me book a room at a nearby hotel.
At the end of the day, I had a strange feeling, and I decided not to go to the hotel room that I had booked earlier. The hotel did not feel safe as I had heard that the police would often check on the patrons there, and I was not in the mood to risk any more investigations from them. I took a cab and went to the bus terminal instead. The terminal was operating 24/7 and was crowded so it felt safe to spend the night.
I had no way of contacting my old friends besides the phone booth in the terminal so I spent most of my time waiting, watching people, and enjoying the local cuisine. I was more worried than I was bored. If any authorities approached me, I would politely excuse myself as though I were in a hurry to catch my ride. Time moved by slowly and I felt calm with plenty of time to reflect.
I recalled one afternoon before my incarceration, while I was walking nearby a beautiful park, I noticed a nice restaurant across the street, named Miami. The sign above reading, “All you can eat!” For what seemed like a good price to me. I crossed the street and went in, paid in advance, and I took my seat at one of the tables. The atmosphere was amazing, the food looked delicious, and well laid out. The customers seemed very discerning as well. I enjoyed almost everything and left happy and full.
I decided to go there at least once a week although on my third visit I noticed the place had seemed to be closed down. I was disappointed, but not surprised given the political climate.
I had met a man in one of the parks who was my age, and he invited me to his house. I appreciated the hospitality, as it was something really needed after all that had happened. He introduced me to his mother and sister, and they let me stay with them for almost a week.
He took me to visit the northern part of the city, which was known for its prestige and affluent community. We visited different restaurants and cafes and enjoyed a cup of tea with some lemon atop a mountain.
He was a student and unemployed so, of course, I paid for everything. As a foreigner, everything seemed very inexpensive to me, but it was quite the opposite for him. He took care of the communication and travel arrangements, and I took care of the spending.
As a foreigner, I had money, but no security or status. All I had was my hope to be able to finally leave this land. In the meantime, I had to protect myself and my mobile bank.
We spoke together in English, he was amused by my accent, a mixture of English and American. His own English was weak, but he improved quickly.
I wandered the long city streets for miles with shops on both sides, and full of beautiful ladies walking around. My thoughts often interrupted by their sweet voices, speaking in their flowery language. It sounded like French to me with such a musical and relaxing tone. It was a little less pleasing to hear the men speak, but regardless.
I witnessed many arguments between young women and police, who despite their religious facade, often harassed the young ladies.
They would try to verify who she is going out with, asking if he was her family or a boyfriend. Yet the women here are very strong, they would shout at the police saying, “ Leave me be! You have no right to ask!” I tried my best to avoid these scenes.
One of the greater challenges was not getting involved in a relationship. I found it hard because this city was filled with the most beautiful women I had ever seen. My goal was to leave without attachments, but I nearly failed.
I smiled when I remember the day my friend, and I were invited to a friendly gathering. The people were nice, the food was good, and it felt very respectful and inviting. That was where I met her, for the first and last time.
I was very timid and intentionally tried not to cross any limits. Since I planned to leave the country, I felt there was no need to hurt her with a relationship that had no future. Still, she was very excited to meet me, and we got along very well.
I was firm in not responding in such a way as to give her false hope. I told her clearly, I am here not to stay. She suggested that we try to make it work, telling me that she will follow me wherever I go. I reflected upon how much I had suffered in this foreign land; I did not want her to go through that as well.
When we left her house, she was sad but hopeful. I could not deny my feelings for her. I decided to explore other options.
I recalled my friend telling me a while ago that his dad could ask his colleague if they would hire an agricultural engineer in his district. If I could find a job in my field perhaps I would stay and give her a chance.
My friend was excited and welcomed the idea so we went to see the director at his office, and my friend explained the story to him.
The director was very respectful, but straight to the point, “Your qualification is higher than mine,” he said. I tried to explain that I just wanted a job regardless. but he replied, “I cannot hire a person with a greater degree than mine to work under me. It would not be fair for either of us.” And That was that; at least I tried.
I came back to the present moment, still sitting at the bus terminal gate, but I had this strange feeling as though I came here for a reason despite having booked the hotel room earlier. I felt as if I was waiting for someone. A crazy notion.
I decided to leave the main gate and go to the second floor where there was a designated area for travelers to rest. As I prepared to go upstairs I saw familiar faces entering the terminal. Three of my old friends whom I was close to before I had gotten arrested. One of whom I had entrusted most of my money with! I could not believe my luck, I was elated.
We were all very surprised to see each other, and I filled them in on everything I had been through. They invited me to live with them at their place, and I was more than happy to accept the offer. So we bought bus tickets and prepared for a journey of a few hours.
I realized this was the opportunity I had been waiting for. Having returned my money to me, my old friend informed me that they had a plan to leave the country and that I was more than welcome to join them.
I was so happy and relieved, things were finally looking up; I slept like a baby on that bus ride. In the morning I woke up in a different world.
I called my friend back in the city to let him know that I had been released and left the city and to thank him for his company and friendship knowing that we would probably never see each other again.
I felt like my journey which had been unexpectedly interrupted by my imprisonment had finally resumed. I knew my path had only just begun, and I had taken yet another step forward.
Thank you for reading.
